I am a Fool

I love teaching classes and meeting new people. I love witnessing people who are secure and those who strive to be. I love learning about my own inner struggles especially when I am helping other individuals.

But I am a Fool and sometimes I like to fool people. Not intentionally of course. I’ve realized that there are times when I claim to love myself, my body and that I am grateful for this or that and all of it is true, but there is a small judgmental voice that says, “You need to lose weight”, “You need to be a better mom”, “You need to help more, and do more, and be more”.

What is that? I have healed this, why is it showing up again? I have let that go. I have claimed this and embraced that. So what’s the problem?

It dawned on me as I was sitting in my photography class on Tuesday night. My teacher said the most profound thing. He said, “If you are not learning or growing (I added the “growing”) you are dying”. Aha, yes, I agree with this. So, there will always be more work to do on ourselves, but if we stop healing or letting go or claiming, we will die.  This process at this point in my life should be fun with a little hint of dread, but still enjoyable knowing that I am improving and living. I am alive, I am walking and breathing! There are things that I have healed from my past, but there are layers that I am still peeling back and that’s ok, because I heal a little more each time I acknowledge it.

I know this works, because despite that little judgmental voice that appears here and there, I really do live an amazing life. When I look back to 5 years ago, I can see the change in myself for the better and isn’t that what life is about, becoming better versions of ourselves?

So now when that little voice starts taunting me, I take a few moments to question what’s underneath it.  Then I love it, thank it, heal it and release it. If it is really bothering me, it may need a bit more attention and this is when I will create a ritual for it. After a ritual I can really feel a huge shift and I can quickly move on to daily living.

The most important thing for us to remember is that we are human. We need to be gentle with ourselves and know we are always striving to be —–fill in the blank.  That voice is there to judge us but instead of looking at it as judgment, look at it as a nudge, as inspiration to heal, to let go, to change, to be better or to accept what is.  There is no right answer, but whatever you do, don’t keep repeating it over and over again until you believe it….because in reality that voice is there to help,  guide and get us moving instead of making its point. In the end we have the power to work with it to create a new positive voice.  I, myself, am a work in progress with sprinkles of love, peace and truth! How about you?

Questions to ponder….. When you look back at your life, are you happier now? Are you in a better place? If not, why not? When your little voice talks, what does it say? Do you believe it? How can you listen and give it a seat at the table? Can you acknowledge it? Will you work with it to make a change? Will you heal it?

Glory Nelson